Journal Archives
Melt in your mouth....
What a wonderful Easter this was! There were more sweets than should be legal. Oh well. Who can't give in to a bite of sinfully sweet chocolate? I never buy the cheap stuff either. If you are going to indulge, do it right, and savor every morsel.
My favorite is smooth milk chocolate by Lindt. It melts like butter in my mouth, aided with a sip of hot coffee. Good lord I'd like another bite! But dark chocolate with its heavy coco flavor has a place in my heart as well. It is almost bitter, but shave it over any desert at all and you are a gourmet. The only chocolate I dislike is white chocolate and it isn't really chocolate at all. Just a white creamy candy. Who the heck decided to call it chocolate?
Picture painting swirls of chocolate over your lover. What a fantastic Easter Surprise! You need candles for this, and sheets that wash easily...
Here's a hint though, don't pay for the Karma Sutra brand of paintable chocolate, I swear it is Hershey's syrup in a fancy bottle, lol!
Posted on 09 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
The Single Sensualist
How do you write erotica when you are single and haven't had a date in months?
I guess for me it is about being a sensualist. Being divorced and dateless doesn't mean I lose my sexuality. It doesn't mean it is put on hold either. I read a lot of erotica, and take time for myself on the little things. Wear a little perfume. Paint my nails. You know, the little treats and the private moments...
At any rate, I still consider myself a sexual being. Of course, I don't know too many women in modern culture that don't. Writing the sex scenes hasn't gotten any harder since I've been on my own. But I will tell you that since I specialize in Dark Romance and the paranormal, I have managed to scare myself silly a few times and that is more difficult to deal with when I am alone.
But back to the sex. Granted, it helps to have someone to fantasize about. And I don't mean someone on TV or in the movies, although those are nice too. My fantasies are best when based on the real thing - a man that I know somehow. That way I can visualize him, hear him, possibly remember the texture of his clothes, or dream about his particular scent. Yum!
Lilly
I guess for me it is about being a sensualist. Being divorced and dateless doesn't mean I lose my sexuality. It doesn't mean it is put on hold either. I read a lot of erotica, and take time for myself on the little things. Wear a little perfume. Paint my nails. You know, the little treats and the private moments...
At any rate, I still consider myself a sexual being. Of course, I don't know too many women in modern culture that don't. Writing the sex scenes hasn't gotten any harder since I've been on my own. But I will tell you that since I specialize in Dark Romance and the paranormal, I have managed to scare myself silly a few times and that is more difficult to deal with when I am alone.
But back to the sex. Granted, it helps to have someone to fantasize about. And I don't mean someone on TV or in the movies, although those are nice too. My fantasies are best when based on the real thing - a man that I know somehow. That way I can visualize him, hear him, possibly remember the texture of his clothes, or dream about his particular scent. Yum!
Lilly
Posted on 04 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
And Joanna bit the stripper...
What a weekend! Definitely fodder for the writer in me. I went to a wild party - a stagette for a friend - involving a stripper (Mr. Bobby Be Bad, who was pretty good!), a party bus, lots of drinks, and a trip to downtown Halifax bars! Woo Hoo! One new friend really did bite the poor man...but I think he'll get over it. 
Unfortunately, the hangover I had the next day put a damper on the presentation I shared with my RWAC group in the afternoon. A friend and I discussed the light and dark side of writing, want to guess what I covered? Yup, the dark side. Dark Romance and its links to earlier Gothic writing. Pretty cool, although somewhat creepy. But that's the point, right? Next time I will tell them about linking the dark side with erotica.
This week I am finishing restoring my manuscript Dark Harmony to its former erotic glory. I made the mistake of editing it to death to make it fit with the guidelines for Silhouette's Nocturne line. The problem is, it was designed to be erotic! It's too sexy for Silhouette, and once I took that all out, it lost its voice. The book became dull! So this week, back it goes and then I will finish it, polish it and send it off to Ellora's Cave, for whom it was written in the first place! ARGH. Never again will I kill a story's voice.
Lilly
Unfortunately, the hangover I had the next day put a damper on the presentation I shared with my RWAC group in the afternoon. A friend and I discussed the light and dark side of writing, want to guess what I covered? Yup, the dark side. Dark Romance and its links to earlier Gothic writing. Pretty cool, although somewhat creepy. But that's the point, right? Next time I will tell them about linking the dark side with erotica.
This week I am finishing restoring my manuscript Dark Harmony to its former erotic glory. I made the mistake of editing it to death to make it fit with the guidelines for Silhouette's Nocturne line. The problem is, it was designed to be erotic! It's too sexy for Silhouette, and once I took that all out, it lost its voice. The book became dull! So this week, back it goes and then I will finish it, polish it and send it off to Ellora's Cave, for whom it was written in the first place! ARGH. Never again will I kill a story's voice.
Lilly
Posted on 02 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
About Erotica
Erotica
Some people trash the genre and call it porn. Others have embraced it as a freedom women have been without – freedom to express (and perhaps revel in) their sexuality. While I am a single mom with a desire to protect my children from becoming too old too quickly, both my kids are girls and they deserve to be able (one day, far in the future) to express what they want from their lovers.
My grandmother warned me right before my wedding day that sex was going to be expected, and I would have to do my duty. Gram was born in 1915. My mother is only 65 and she has told me sex was not interesting, nor had it ever been interesting. I have to believe that these poor women (and poor husbands) simply didn’t have the experience to understand or more accurately communicate their desires.
For me sex has been a wonderful thing. I’m divorced now but it wasn’t because of lack of sex. But I have freedoms that my mother and grandmother did not. We have anonymous access the internet providing a wealth of sexual information at our fingertips and we have more writing, movies and theatre the feature female sexuality. My writing has grown over time with experience and interest. What started out a wee bit like purple prose has grown to be an honest and frank description of sensuality. But I also feel free to ignore the sexual aspects of writing if that is what my story calls for.
This weekend I will be presenting with a partner the “Light and Dark” sides of writing to my Romance Writers of America branch – the Romance Writers of Atlantic Canada, or RWAC. What I have found interesting is that erotica, once a dark subject, has stretched to fill blanks that were left in every genre or romantic fiction, from comedy to historicals.
I guess my favorite term of the day (and perhaps an upcoming title for a short I am working on) would be “Sacrilicious”. A little bit naughty, but oh so yummy!
Lilly
Some people trash the genre and call it porn. Others have embraced it as a freedom women have been without – freedom to express (and perhaps revel in) their sexuality. While I am a single mom with a desire to protect my children from becoming too old too quickly, both my kids are girls and they deserve to be able (one day, far in the future) to express what they want from their lovers.
My grandmother warned me right before my wedding day that sex was going to be expected, and I would have to do my duty. Gram was born in 1915. My mother is only 65 and she has told me sex was not interesting, nor had it ever been interesting. I have to believe that these poor women (and poor husbands) simply didn’t have the experience to understand or more accurately communicate their desires.
For me sex has been a wonderful thing. I’m divorced now but it wasn’t because of lack of sex. But I have freedoms that my mother and grandmother did not. We have anonymous access the internet providing a wealth of sexual information at our fingertips and we have more writing, movies and theatre the feature female sexuality. My writing has grown over time with experience and interest. What started out a wee bit like purple prose has grown to be an honest and frank description of sensuality. But I also feel free to ignore the sexual aspects of writing if that is what my story calls for.
This weekend I will be presenting with a partner the “Light and Dark” sides of writing to my Romance Writers of America branch – the Romance Writers of Atlantic Canada, or RWAC. What I have found interesting is that erotica, once a dark subject, has stretched to fill blanks that were left in every genre or romantic fiction, from comedy to historicals.
I guess my favorite term of the day (and perhaps an upcoming title for a short I am working on) would be “Sacrilicious”. A little bit naughty, but oh so yummy!
Lilly
Posted on 30 Mar 2007 by Lilly Cain
Success inspires success
You know how it is - when you do something right and it goes well, you try again. Certainly it is easier than if you had failed and made yourself try again. My recent search for time has had some success - I have found time for my writng every day this last week, and trust me, in my household that is something! Beyond that, What I see happening in my writer's group (the RWAC, see links)is a constant source of inspiration. I see women getting published, being recognized by placing in contests, receiving coveted nominations for various awards for published works. I see celebrations over release dates, excitement over new cover designs, and cheering for new contracts.
Some people might get discouraged becasue others are succeeding and they are not, but I find in my group at least, we are supportive enough that when one of us achieves something, the rest of us are proud of that person's success, not daunted by it.
I have found that the same course of action, success inspiring success, is applicable across the board - in terms of achieving a goal, breaking it down into smaller goals makes each stage more possible. This is true for writing, karate and weight loss at least, and I expect it is true for other things.
Take sex for example, I mean if we get it right the first time aren't we encouraged to try it again? Doesn't an exciting kiss tell us to try something more? Again we break it down into goals - you know what they are! And the final goal - score!
So here's to setting goals - for me in writing this week I am going to review 6 chapters (am on 3 now) and write a sexy encounter for the hero in my latest story. Will he be tempted over to the dark side? Nah, but I bet he has fun in the shadows!
Lilly
Some people might get discouraged becasue others are succeeding and they are not, but I find in my group at least, we are supportive enough that when one of us achieves something, the rest of us are proud of that person's success, not daunted by it.
I have found that the same course of action, success inspiring success, is applicable across the board - in terms of achieving a goal, breaking it down into smaller goals makes each stage more possible. This is true for writing, karate and weight loss at least, and I expect it is true for other things.
Take sex for example, I mean if we get it right the first time aren't we encouraged to try it again? Doesn't an exciting kiss tell us to try something more? Again we break it down into goals - you know what they are! And the final goal - score!
So here's to setting goals - for me in writing this week I am going to review 6 chapters (am on 3 now) and write a sexy encounter for the hero in my latest story. Will he be tempted over to the dark side? Nah, but I bet he has fun in the shadows!
Lilly
Posted on 18 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
Anticipation
Waiting for something – it can be good or bad, but that period of waiting, watching, it can stir the blood. Imagine that moment when you know something is coming, clued in by some hint that the event is upon us; be it the creak of a footstep on the stair and then nothing more, or a series of emails leading up to a possible date.
Okay, so I’m there. Maybe a date will come out of these emails I’ve been sharing with a new friend, maybe not. But isn’t the anticipation fun? Even the frightening frozen moment before the murderer breaks through the door in your latest horror is a blast, but meeting someone new is just as suspenseful, with a much larger chance of a happy ending. So it will suck if he is a total goof. Oh well. At least for now, when you wonder what might be, it is fun.
Trying this internet dating thing has been a series of suspenseful moments, when you seem to be getting close to someone only to find a) he is completely illiterate (sorry guys) b) he’s oddly much, much shorter than he said he was, c) he’s just weird or d) he’s kind of interesting and you begin to hope for another date, but nope. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in me! Then, after a suitable recovery period, I begin again.
If someone knows an easier way, fill me in…much as I love anticipation, I can only take a little longer on the roller coaster…
Lilly
Okay, so I’m there. Maybe a date will come out of these emails I’ve been sharing with a new friend, maybe not. But isn’t the anticipation fun? Even the frightening frozen moment before the murderer breaks through the door in your latest horror is a blast, but meeting someone new is just as suspenseful, with a much larger chance of a happy ending. So it will suck if he is a total goof. Oh well. At least for now, when you wonder what might be, it is fun.
Trying this internet dating thing has been a series of suspenseful moments, when you seem to be getting close to someone only to find a) he is completely illiterate (sorry guys) b) he’s oddly much, much shorter than he said he was, c) he’s just weird or d) he’s kind of interesting and you begin to hope for another date, but nope. Perhaps he wasn’t interested in me! Then, after a suitable recovery period, I begin again.
If someone knows an easier way, fill me in…much as I love anticipation, I can only take a little longer on the roller coaster…
Lilly
Posted on 16 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
Pen names
While I admit that Lilly isn't my true name, it does reflect who I am in many ways. Lilly Kane from the show Veronica Mars was much to Veronica as Lilly Cain the writer is to the true me. She's a spirit, speaking to me through my mind telling me what I could be if I wanted to, if I let myself go and flew with my desires.
Lilly Kane tells Veronica "Why do you insist on suppressing your hotness? The world is ready for you, Veronica Mars. You don't have to blend in."
Lilly - the name means literally a blossoming flower, while Cain was the first son of Adam and Eve who killed his brother. Quite a contrast.
There are a ton of sites out there that talk about choosing a baby name or have the meanings of names broken down in one way or another. It is more important though I think to choose a name that could be you, somehow. Not that I would kill someone, rather I enjoyed the play of light and darkness in the name.
I've chosen to have a pen name for a couple of reasons, one of which is my choice of genre - and my mom said I have to (hahaha), and another is that there is already a fairly popular children's writer out there with my true name. I wouldn't want there to be any confusion there! So my advice is to think about the reasons why you need another name and to think about what you want that name to say abou you. Of course it doesn't hurt if it is sexy...
Lilly
Lilly Kane tells Veronica "Why do you insist on suppressing your hotness? The world is ready for you, Veronica Mars. You don't have to blend in."
Lilly - the name means literally a blossoming flower, while Cain was the first son of Adam and Eve who killed his brother. Quite a contrast.
There are a ton of sites out there that talk about choosing a baby name or have the meanings of names broken down in one way or another. It is more important though I think to choose a name that could be you, somehow. Not that I would kill someone, rather I enjoyed the play of light and darkness in the name.
I've chosen to have a pen name for a couple of reasons, one of which is my choice of genre - and my mom said I have to (hahaha), and another is that there is already a fairly popular children's writer out there with my true name. I wouldn't want there to be any confusion there! So my advice is to think about the reasons why you need another name and to think about what you want that name to say abou you. Of course it doesn't hurt if it is sexy...
Lilly
Posted on 13 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
Finding the time
It seems like everything is a matter of time these days. We need to find time, allot time, reserve time, even MAKE time. For everything, from kids to Spring Cleaning to writing and even for passion.
Not to make light of the problem, but they told me when I was pregnant with my first child that my husband and I would have to learn to have time for each other or we wouldn't make it. Well, we did make time, but maybe not enough. We made another child. She requred her own share of time and I wanted to give her even more. That might have been the end, except that things were already ruined by then, so I can have no bad feelings about having her.
The point is that we need to work on our priorities. I need to find more time to write without sacrificing time with my kids or what little I have just for me. Therefor I am giving up all TV with the exception of one hour per day, not including Breakfast News. If I do that surely I will arrive at the conclusion of Dark Harmony at a quicker pace.
Yes I admit it, it isn't finished. But not for lack of attempts. It was finished once upon a time, but I have ripped it to shreds about three times since then.
A friend encouraged me to get up at 5:30 AM and write. She is obviously insane. I am a hedonist enough that my last half hour in bed, half awake and banging on the snooze button is not to be relinquished!
Lilly
Not to make light of the problem, but they told me when I was pregnant with my first child that my husband and I would have to learn to have time for each other or we wouldn't make it. Well, we did make time, but maybe not enough. We made another child. She requred her own share of time and I wanted to give her even more. That might have been the end, except that things were already ruined by then, so I can have no bad feelings about having her.
The point is that we need to work on our priorities. I need to find more time to write without sacrificing time with my kids or what little I have just for me. Therefor I am giving up all TV with the exception of one hour per day, not including Breakfast News. If I do that surely I will arrive at the conclusion of Dark Harmony at a quicker pace.
Yes I admit it, it isn't finished. But not for lack of attempts. It was finished once upon a time, but I have ripped it to shreds about three times since then.
A friend encouraged me to get up at 5:30 AM and write. She is obviously insane. I am a hedonist enough that my last half hour in bed, half awake and banging on the snooze button is not to be relinquished!
Lilly
Posted on 11 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain
When your foundation wobbles
Okay, so there was a time not so long ago when my whole world collapsed. All that held me up were my kids. You guessed it - it was when my husband left. Since then, I built myself a new foundation. Perhaps it isn't as thick as the old one, but I was getting pretty steady on my feet again.
Then, last night, it took a major wobble. One of my supporting stands is Karate and my Sensei. He helped me to regain my self confidence through karate. Last night it appears his own life problems became more than he could take and he has retreated from life due to a mental breakdown.
His life is collapsong for different reasons, but it reminds me of my own mess. His stability had inspired me, now I wonder if he can't take it, how can I? I thought Karate was partially a state of mind that would help me move forward with my life, and now I have met two Black Belts that have serious problems.
I wonder what will happen to my club, and if we will make it without our leader. I wonder what will happen to my Sensei and his family. I wonder if I will make it.
Of course, being Lilly, I also wonder whose butt I will look at now that he is gone. This is a serious loss for my fantasy life...
Lilly
Then, last night, it took a major wobble. One of my supporting stands is Karate and my Sensei. He helped me to regain my self confidence through karate. Last night it appears his own life problems became more than he could take and he has retreated from life due to a mental breakdown.
His life is collapsong for different reasons, but it reminds me of my own mess. His stability had inspired me, now I wonder if he can't take it, how can I? I thought Karate was partially a state of mind that would help me move forward with my life, and now I have met two Black Belts that have serious problems.
I wonder what will happen to my club, and if we will make it without our leader. I wonder what will happen to my Sensei and his family. I wonder if I will make it.
Of course, being Lilly, I also wonder whose butt I will look at now that he is gone. This is a serious loss for my fantasy life...
Lilly
Posted on 02 May 2007 by Lilly Cain
The Guilt is overwhelming...
So what did I say? I would write this weekend, right? Not watch TV, not clean, not sew. HA! Nope, I did it all that I said I wouldn't. ARGH. I guess my mind needed a break. Besides that I am starting to get seriously worried about this writer's block thing.
I am not getting anywhere with this book! Now a friend of mine tells me maybe I should move on and start something new. But I have already done that with another book. I really want to finish this one and send it out. At least I have been thinking about it and a couple of the plot problems.
Number one, I had taken out a lot of the really erotic stuff to make it fit a different category. Well hell, that killed my "voice". So, I've put most of that back in. And a workshop I attended this weekend clued me in on a scene or 2 I need to cut becasue I simply can't see the heroine doing what I have her doing - I am forcing her out of character. Maybe I need to go back and review her backstory.
This week I am going to make a decision about this book. Finish it or not? I think it has a lot of good stuff in it, and I am getting tired of starting and not finishing. We'll see.
Lilly
I am not getting anywhere with this book! Now a friend of mine tells me maybe I should move on and start something new. But I have already done that with another book. I really want to finish this one and send it out. At least I have been thinking about it and a couple of the plot problems.
Number one, I had taken out a lot of the really erotic stuff to make it fit a different category. Well hell, that killed my "voice". So, I've put most of that back in. And a workshop I attended this weekend clued me in on a scene or 2 I need to cut becasue I simply can't see the heroine doing what I have her doing - I am forcing her out of character. Maybe I need to go back and review her backstory.
This week I am going to make a decision about this book. Finish it or not? I think it has a lot of good stuff in it, and I am getting tired of starting and not finishing. We'll see.
Lilly
Posted on 30 Apr 2007 by Lilly Cain